The cost of lucidity
For many a sudden boost in lucidity is the end goal. It’s anoble enough notion, wanting to bring a certain level of awareness into yourpresent, and by extension, develop some level of control and self-determination.However, problems arise when you begin to experience a level of lucidity buthave yet to establish habits that allow you to move through your day to day withan air of authenticity.
One of the major advantages to dreaming lucid is the abilityto actively integrate displaced energies from daily traumas. It’s not untilyou’ve moved into this state of awareness that you realize how many seeminglyunimportant things create tension in your being. Every time you’ve chosen tospare someone a potentially devastating response, or chosen not to act for fearof alienating another, every time you’vechosen not to say what needed saying to spare the feelings of a loved one youcreate choke points in your energy.
Now, I’m not saying to go around verbally detonatinginnocent bystanders. We create these temporary stops to channel energy in moreacceptable ways. Unfortunately for many people moving through their lives unconsciously,the unconscious is exactly where this shadow stuff ends up. These bits of sandeventually form a beach as they settle in the depths of your being withoutresolution. In time you find yourself on an island isolated by all the thingsyou never said and should have done.
By living lucidly, I could avoid getting stranded on thatisland. But, I wasn’t living honestly. I still had trouble with finding thecourage to exist in a state of authenticity and because of that I was creatinga nightly ritual with no end in sight.
It’s not uncommon for an individual to experience five toseven dreams a night. I know how, for those of us that struggle to recall asingle nightly excursion, the idea of having seven in one night may seem farfetched.However, it is not the frequency of dreaming that is in question but rather ourability to clearly recall it. During these dreaming states, people have beenknown to experience the deep and often unsettling depths of the unintegratedshadow as well as ecstatic extrasensory experiences that have the power toreshape our perspective and breathe new vitality into our existence.
Many dreamers who identify as lucid, or at least on thehigher end of the lucidity spectrum, seem to be searching for these ecstaticexperiences in their nightly activities and daily meditations. The problem isthat when you are highly lucid and living in a way that creates dissociation inyour waking moments, you end up spending the first part of your nightreintegrating what you repressed during your day. So, often times you beginyour spiritual journey in the realm of nightmares and trauma. Here, the darkshadow cries out for attention and love. This is natural and beneficial butextremely wasteful when you think that the reason you continue to have thisparticular set of dark shadow dreams is because you are just not living in anhonest way.
For students of the shadow and savants of dream, the time wetake to sleep is sacred and the energy we expend in preparation for thiscatharsis is deliberate. So, spending the first three out of five lucid dreamsintegrating issues that you could be resolving in your day feels like pouringwater on the desert sand. Becoming lucid is not set in stone. We develop theskills and train in techniques that increase the chances of us becoming awareof our dreaming state and thus lucid. All of the preparation, training, andintention is designed to change something like a 20% chance to an 80% chance.Each dream is an opportunity to become aware. So, squandering 66% of it cangrind your mind training down to a screeching halt.
Moreover, encountering the shadow in a non-lucid statenormally puts us at odds with it as we digress to our base nature of lashingout, struggling, and trying to destroy the monsters in our closet. Engaging thedark shadow with anything less than compassion and love can only lead torepressing the energy further. At the very least, we end up investing moreenergy into the unresolved trauma as it gains momentum from our fears andrejection.
This next part is going to be difficult because I’m askingyou to do something that is completely life changing. If you’re serious aboutbeing healthy and gaining a mastery of your spiritual experience, you have toprotect your dreams from yourself. You have to find the courage and convictionto stand in your truth and bear it without shame during your day. Every timeyou tell half-truths you are telling a lie, or rather, creating a deliberateillusion. The truth of what you are, how you feel, and what you desire is simple.You can doll it up to make it fit better into the expectations of othersbecause every doll is a shallow imitation. If you truly value the vast expansesof your highest vibration, you have to use your days to safeguard your nights.